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Newsletter Archive

July 2007

Welcome to the July edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter.  Before we go any further, Jenny and the team would like to say a big THANK YOU! to everyone who voted for us in the Business Achievers awards.  Thanks to your support we are one of the six finalists.

Do you remember the story of Peter Pan?  When Mrs Darling discovered Peter in the house, she screamed and Peter leapt out of the window to get away from her, but his shadow was too slow and Nana the dog managed to catch it in her teeth.  The shadow was rolled up and stuck in a drawer until Tinker Bell and Peter flew in through the Darling children’s bedroom window to find it.  The problem was that once it was found, the shadow wouldn’t stick to Peter and it was only when Wendy sewed it onto Peter’s foot that it started to behave itself again.

You might be wondering at this point what Peter Pan and his misbehaving shadow have to do with you.  Well you may be surprised to know that we all have a shadow self.  Not the one that gets longer or shorter depending on where the sun is, but the shadow of the psyche, and this month we’ve decided to take a closer look at what happens when we don’t pay enough attention to it.

What is the shadow self?

Dr Carl Gustav Jung believed that every person has a shadow.  Basically our shadow is made up of all the qualities we have in us that we disapprove of or are ashamed of; all those parts of ourselves we prefer to deny exist.  According to Dr Jung, “The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves.”  To put it a simpler way, that other dark, hidden part of you needs to express itself and if you don’t pay attention to it, it will force you to acknowledge it by causing you grief.

Is your shadow misbehaving?

The shadow self is a bit like a child; the more you ignore it, the more it starts to act out.

Have you ever come across a person that you found repulsive?  Do similar issues and problems keep cropping up in your relationships?  If you look back over your life, can you see a pattern of difficulties in a particular area?  It’s likely that this is your shadow trying to get your attention.

Frightened of your own shadow?

It isn’t much fun admitting to our faults.  Most people prefer to blame others, or external situations rather than take responsibility for their personal imperfections.  Unfortunately, until we accept our imperfections and own up to our faults, we won’t change and we’ll keep going through the same old patterns and problems.

Pleased to meet you Shadow.

Make a list to expose your hidden aspects:

Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

  1. What are you most afraid of?
  2. What are you afraid someone else might see or find out about you?
  3. What are you afraid of finding out about yourself?
  4. People you dislike and what they do that gets you angry?
  5. People you admire and the qualities they inspire in you to emulate?

Read over your answers and ask yourself if these traits which you’ve identified push your buttons for a reason.  Do you believe they are negative or shameful traits?  Now take another look objectively; could you live a more balanced life if you developed some of these traits?

Meeting your shadow and working to incorporate it into your life can be confronting and difficult but the way your life will improve makes it all worth it.  If you need guidance why not phone us on (07) 3862 6622 and make an appointment to see one of our fantastic counsellors?  We look forward to hearing from you.

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Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.

Until next time then…

“Projections change the world into the replica of one’s own unknown face.”
- Dr Carl Jung