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Newsletter Archive

October 2008

WHEN DID YOU LAST SAY I LOVE YOU

Relationships in their initial stages are new; exciting; passionate; there’s a need to be connected, to the other person in both mind and body. But what happens for many is that over time people forget to communicate there thoughts and feelings. Love is slowly eroded to one day you wake up in bed with your partner and you can’t remember when you last said good morning.

In a love based communication, partners talk to each other about every aspect of their lives, whether it is big or small, their aspirations, dreams and fears.  It involves basic communication about bills and whose turn is it to cook dinner? Yet love based is more than that, it is a true connection between two people who love and respect each other.

Whereas, in a needs based relationship; couples only speak when they have to, issues that aren’t especially love based but are more mundane day to day things, like:

  • Have you picked up the dry cleaning?
  • Can you pick up the kids from school tomorrow?
  • Have you paid the mortgage for this month?

It is the type of communication that gives no joy and there’s no real communication in the way of feelings or thoughts. People forget to talk to each other and start living independent lives.

There are a number of ways to address this issue in any relationship, yet it must be stressed that there’s no quick fix, it takes a commitment by both people to decide they are willing to give the relationship another go. It’s also about discovering lost passion and bringing fun back into your life. There are the three major ingredients needed for the achievement of a deep and rewarding love relationship.

THE 3Rs OF Relationship SUCCESS AND JOY

These are;

  1. RESPONSIBILITY
  2. REAL SELF
  3. ROMANCE

The first “R” Responsibility involves:

  • Learning from your conflicts and failures instead of condemning or defending
  • Learning communication and negotiating skills
  • Being willing to make the effort
  • Negotiating the kind of relationship you want to have

The second ‘R’, real self, involves:

  • Becoming honest with yourself and your partner
  • Developing self-awareness
  • Discovering who you really are – not what you are to get other’s approval

The third ‘R”, romance, involves:

  • Creating ways to have fun, relax and have pleasure together
  • Encouraging, praising, caring (using your nurturing part to lift your partner’s awareness of being esteemed and valued)
  • Sharing the real you – ‘you and me’ talk

If you feel that communication is a problem in your family then feel free to contact us on (07) 3862 6622, we’d be only too happy to help.

Useful References

Until next time then…

“Love is not just looking at each other, but is looking outward in the same direction. ” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “Le Petit Prince”