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May 2010
Do you remember the magic of a new relationship, how the days seemed brighter just because you would see the other person when you finished work. Many have termed this time the “honeymoon period”, a time when the needs of the other person are paramount to your own. But gradually along the way life has a habit of taking over, other priorities take its place work, children and unfortunately the relationship gets less and less attention. Till one day arguments start over the smallest of issue and people grow apart.
Open communication:
The following scenario highlights the importance of communicating openly and honestly without the fear of upsetting the other person.
John and Mary have been dating for 12 months and are going to move in with one another. However when Mary sees some of John’s furniture, she tells him that he cannot bring that “monstrosity” into the house. The item she is talking about a chest that John inherited from his grandfather and whilst it isn’t beautiful it serves a function and means a great deal to him. But he compromises and gets rid of the chest, because he loves Mary and wants her to be happy. A relatively minor incident one might say, however a few years later John and Mary start fighting and John utters “you always make me get rid of the things in my life which are important to me, like the chest I inherited from my grandfather”.
You see there were a number of mistakes made during this scenario: John never told Mary the history behind the chest and Mary failed to compromise on the issue. A touch of paint and some tender loving care and the chest could have worked in well with the other furniture. John and Mary made a mistake in not communicating with one another, had they been able to talk openly with one another a compromise that suited both of them could have been reached.
Other simple ways to improve and nourish your relationship are as follows,
- Greeting one another at the door,
- Saying good morning when we wake up and good night when we go to sleep,
- Leaving notes for one another to find in the morning or after a long day at work,
- Calling to say hello and especially if one of us will be late,
- Not going to bed angry,
- Hugs, kisses, and smiles throughout the day
These ideas sound simple enough, but most people make the mistake of over analysing the problem when it is often the simplest solution that works a treat.
If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties, relationship counselling is a simple alternative that can offer useful strategies to utilise in your relationship.
References
- The magic of nourishment: http://www.relationshipspecialists.com/articles/the-magic-of-nourishment/
- Quotes on relationships: http://www.quotegarden.com/relationships.html
Quote of the Month
“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” – Emily Kimbrough