Clayfield Counselling Services

Newsletter Archive

January 2011

News

With the recent floods that have devastated Queensland, the coming days, weeks and months are going to be difficult for many Queensland residents who have lost their homes, friends and family members.  Whilst we at CCS have not affected by the floods, our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Queensland, many of whom have lost everything except the clothes on their backs. To the families of the missing and those who have not survived, our thoughts are with you.

Thought of the Month

The great Australian spirit means that when we get knocked down, we get up, steady ourselves and move forward.

Processing: The Core Stages of Grief

There are five stages that a person will go through as they process the loss of a loved one and also the loss of their homes. Over the coming months we will hear and see many people going through the stages of grief. Grief isn’t just about losing a loved one, for many people losing a home is just as catastrophic. Our homes are an extension of ourselves and when a person loses everything that defines them, it is a traumatic period in their lives.

As you will have noticed many people are saying they’re fine, that their neighbours are worse off than them. This is the first stage of grief, Denial. It is important for people to recognise and acknowledge what they have lost, yes, they may have only lost personal possessions and material items, but they’ve also lost the memories that people often associate with these items. Denial can cause many people to act and say things that they wouldn’t ordinarily. For those who haven’t been affected, it is a time to be tolerant and understanding.

The next stage we will be seeing in the coming days and weeks is the second stage, Anger. Much of this will be directed at the fact that there was no warning for many people and the hopelessness when confronting the devastated regions of Queensland. Local, State and Federal government will be on the receiving end of this. People will be angry and questioning why is it that they lost everything and their neighbour’s home may be safe. Accept that anger is a normal part of the healing process, we all need to vent, but when anger starts manifesting itself in your everyday actions, it may be time to seek counselling.

The next stage of grief is depression, it may not manifest itself straight away and it could be some time before a person begins to feel depressed. Sometimes when it all seems like too much, then it is time to talk to someone about how you are feeling. These feelings may only last a short time, or an extended period of time, sometimes all a person needs is a few sessions with a counsellor to be able to focus themselves and process events which have passed.

The next stage is acceptance, by acknowledging the severity of the situation and by taking stock of what is happening, we are allowing ourselves to grieve for what we have lost and what we stand to lose in the coming months as the clean up and damage bill is tallied. Acceptance is an important part of the process.

Sometimes people do not follow these stages, some people miss one, whilst other may relapse, there is no right or wrong way to grieve for what you have lost. Some people will never fully process what has happened, others will push it aside and get on with the rebuilding process and worry about the rest when they have time. But it is important to understand that by setting aside your thoughts and feelings isn’t healthy, it is important to acknowledge what has happened and move forward.

If you or someone you know is in need of counselling, we are open from 9am to 5pm, after hours appointments are available on request. We also offer telephone counselling for those of you who are unable to come into our offices. The details of which can be found on this website. Next month we will be focusing on the psychological symptoms associated with the flood crisis and how to deal with these accordingly.