eNEWSLETTER
August 2004
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Welcome to Clayfield Counselling Services August eNewsletter!
Family Relationships
Our recent newsletters have all talked about different aspects of relationships. We have touched on communication and passive aggression and so this month we thought we'd talk about relationships within families. We'll look at the difference between functional family relationships compared to dysfunctional family relationships.
How often have you read or heard about a successful person who has come from humble beginnings or an unhappy and violent childhood?
Through all walks of life we come across someone who is leading a life contrary to their familial upbringing. Who often craves the approval of their parents even though there's no respect for the way their family chooses to live. Breaking the family mould can be difficult and often brings with it the feeling of guilt and betrayal.
We often hear the word "dysfunctional" used in the media and in society but do we really understand what it means?
"In a functional family, all members are valued and loved unconditionally. So, if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, all the members had different values and were valued by what they did and not who they were." - Dr. Roger A. Rhoades
There are four main roles kids take on in the dysfunctional family in order to be loved. They are:
- The Responsible Child "The Hero"
- The Acting out Child "The Scapegoat"
- The Caretaker "Mascot"
- The Lost Child "Adjuster"
If you'd like to learn more about these roles, an interesting site to visit is http://www.joy2meu.com/DysfunctionalFamilies.htm
Breaking the cycle
Remember it's never too late to make changes. Whether you're one of those kids that have grown up in a dysfunctional family and would now like to form a better relationship with your parents or siblings, or if you've got kids of your own and want to ensure you're all enjoying the best family relationship possible there are steps you can take.
Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." -C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections
The editorial team at Clayfield Counselling Services