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eNEWSLETTER
September 2004

Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."

Welcome to Clayfield Counselling Services September eNewsletter!

Parents' Expectations

We all love our kids and want them to be the best they can be, but what happens when a child fails to live up to high expectations?

Last month we spoke about dysfunctional families, so this month we thought we’d talk about parental pressure in academics and recreational activities and how placing too much pressure on kids to succeed can lead to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, stress and anxiety.

Parental support plays a big part in a child’s academic and extra-curricular achievement. By providing the right environment in which to learn, positive encouragement and assistance when required, parents can help to ensure that children are given the best opportunity to learn.

However, there’s a difference between a parent who supports a child in his or her development and a parent that forces their own ambitions on their child. Angela Rossmanith, author of “When Will the Children Play?” warns, “It can be tempting for some parents to project their aspirations onto their children but probably the most common reason for wanting our kids to do well- apart from the positives for them- is that it validates us as parents.”

Children also need time to play and just enjoy being kids and this is something that ambitious parents sometimes fail to recognise. Rossmanith concludes, “that children don't need "lives of empty busyness" - they need time for unstructured fantasy play. This helps boost children's EQ (emotional intelligence). When children are rushed and pressured, they tend to absorb the message that "You are not enough as you are". (New Zealand “Listener” 22/9/97)

Sport is a big part of the Australian way of life and many children become involved in sporting activities from a very young age.

The term “ugly parent syndrome” is used to describe parents involved in junior sport, who behave in a verbally abusive and even physically violent manner towards children, parents and referees and who encourage their children to follow suit. This can lead to burnout, a defeatist attitude, resentment from the child’s peers and embarrassment.

Anthony Klarica, who is head of Sports Psychology in Melbourne says, “physical activity is about developing coordination and skills, cardiovascular and muscular strength to lay the foundation for a healthy life ahead, as well as social skills. Children can learn skills that will be beneficial in other areas of their life and, later, in the workplace, especially if their parents role model positive behaviour such as encouragement.”

Some interesting sites

Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.

Until next time then...
" If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." - Anna Quindlen

The editorial team at Clayfield Counselling Services

 

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