eNEWSLETTER
February 2006
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
The Real Meaning of Valentine’s Day
Welcome to the February 2006 edition of Clayfield Counselling Services’ e-newsletter. This month, we take great pleasure in welcoming back counsellor Heather Palmer, who after a well earned break, will now be available for appointments on Mondays. Welcome back Heather!
With all the red roses, hearts and greeting cards, it’s impossible to miss Valentine’s Day isn’t it? In theory, Valentine’s Day is a nice idea, after all it’s the one day of the year dedicated to romance, but have you noticed how it feels like Valentine’s Day is more about proving something to everyone else rather than loving your partner? Romance isn’t about extravagant or expensive gestures. You can’t judge the health of a relationship by how it appears to outsiders. Love can not be measured by a price tag.
Appreciate the little things
It isn’t the giant bunches of flowers on Valentine’s Day that keep a relationship healthy and fresh, it’s the little things you do every day. Those simple loving gestures that happen daily are the nourishment of any good relationship but they’re so often taken for granted and overlooked. When your partner greets you every morning with a steaming mug of coffee, you don’t brag about it to your friends at work the way you would if your partner presented you with an arm load of flowers on Valentine’s Day but if your partner wasn’t there any longer it would be the coffee that you would miss; not the flowers.
Don’t be tempted to equate the size and grandeur of the gesture with the amount of love that’s behind it. Notice the romance in each day you spend together- not just on February 14th. See those little things your partner does for you every day for what they really are- acts of honest, stand the test of time, true and devoted love. Respond to them in kind; remember to say “Thank you”. Show your partner how much you appreciate them. Flirt with your partner and if you’ve got children allow them to witness it. The best way to ensure your children will find healthy, happy relationships is to allow them to witness how in love Mum and Dad are. If this is not the case in your relationship then phone us to make an appointment. With counselling you can work on your relationship until it’s one you are happy to be in.
Communication
Communication is the backbone of any relationship. Without good communication the lifespan of your relationship is almost certainly limited. We learn a great deal about how to communicate in relationships from watching our parents during our childhood. When couples come to Clayfield Counselling Services for counselling it is often a communication problem that is causing the trouble. When we start to take our partner for granted, good manners is commonly the first thing to go out the window. Instead of saying “Please” and “Thank you”, we start demanding. We don’t bother to call anymore if we’re going to be late. We have a bad day and we take it out on the person closest to us; our partner. We stop listening to our partner and begin to assume we already know what they’re going to say or we stop talking to our partner and assume they should already know what we’re going to say.
If poor communication is causing problems in your relationship, there are ways to improve it. We often think that we’re communicating when we’re not. We confuse sorting out who’s going to drive the kids to school and negotiating who’ll be responsible for the household chores with good communication. Try to set aside some quiet time for just the two of you. Make a date and write it in your diary. Make keeping your date together a priority.
Tell them you love them
You don’t need to spend a lot of money to have a good relationship. Tell your partner how you feel about them- don’t assume they already know. Everyone needs to be told how much they are loved and valued, wanted and needed and the longer you have been together, the truer this becomes. Words may be cheap but they are worth a great deal when they put a blush in your partner’s cheeks and a song in their heart.
Some interesting links
Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only what you are expecting to give - which is everything” -Katherine Hepburn