eNEWSLETTER
May 2006
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Welcome to the May edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter. To all the Mums reading this, Happy Mother’s Day! We hope your special day is filled with smiles, hugs and all the people and things you love. We also hope you don’t end up with too much breakfast on the bed sheets!
The Making of a Mother
“Mother”, she must be one of the most revered, loved and idealized people to walk the earth, and yet, she is also often one of the most maligned, despised and taken for granted. Not so long ago, it was assumed that all women were born “little mothers”. That they are given a kind of maternal gene along with their uterus which enables them to be fantastic parents from the moment a child is born to them. We understand now that this isn’t true. The truth is that there are some men and women that make wonderful parents, and others that should never have children. Unfortunately reproductive abilities don’t always reflect this, and so we have people who should be parents but are unable to have children and too many children born to parents who are inadequate or abusive. Many of our clients here at Clayfield Counselling Services have experienced this truth first hand, in one way or another.
Is it Enough to be just Good Enough?
Attitudes towards women and motherhood have changed and it is now, for the most part, recognised that women should have every opportunity to choose the life that’s right for them, whether that be career, family, study or any combination. Unfortunately, although many women enjoy being both a mum and having a career or studying, many feel that being “just a mum” isn’t contributing enough and they take on other roles to prove their worth.
There is pressure now to be Supermum, the woman who excels at parenting, intimate relationships, housekeeping, career and personal image. So many women feel the need to focus their energy into many different directions at once and, to their credit, manage to perform well in all the roles they juggle. However, many women don’t cope as well, for a variety of reasons, becoming stressed and depleted; it is often their children that pay the greatest price.
That which has traditionally been classed as women’s work is commonly dismissed as menial. The wiping of children’s noses is often sadly equated with the mopping of floors but if you ask any adult about their childhood you’ll understand how important parenting is. If a child is inadequately parented, it is virtually impossible for him/her to grow up into an emotionally healthy, well balanced adult without help and a lot of work. The role a mother plays in her child’s life is so incredibly important, both to the child and to the society in which the child will live.
The Loving, the Abusive and the Negligent
Let’s face it; parents are first and foremost human beings. Nobody is perfect and all parents make mistakes. However, there is a difference between a parent who makes mistakes and one who is abusive or negligent.
Many of our clients have experienced abuse and neglect at the hands of the very people that were supposed to love and care for them. The lack of a loving parent has a great impact on a child’s developmental progress. Self-esteem, self-confidence, interpersonal skills and relationships all suffer and anxiety, depression and anger are common occurrences when a child is neglected or abused.
The Many Meanings of Mother
Motherhood is a heart attitude. It is not reserved only for those women that give birth to children, as the many mums with adopted and foster children will tell you. Nor is it purely the care of children that makes a mother as many women who have given up their child for adoption or have experienced a miscarriage, abortion or the birth of a stillborn child understand.
If you think you may have been affected by any of the issues we’ve touched on in this newsletter and might benefit from talking to a counsellor why not phone us to make an appointment?
As for those of you who are lucky enough to have a great Mum, or you’re married to one, why not do something special for her this Sunday? Let her know she’s doing a great job, she deserves it.
Some interesting links
Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes them a mother - which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician.” - Sydney J Harris