eNEWSLETTER
August 2007
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Welcome to the August edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted? Perhaps your spouse came home one day and told you they wanted a divorce. Or maybe your parents didn’t do their job properly and abandoned or abused you. Perhaps the company you’ve put your heart and soul into for years, sold you out for the sake of saving a few dollars. Bad things happen to good people; we see examples of it every day. Often the person affected is kind and decent and has done absolutely nothing to warrant being treated so badly.
It’s okay to feel angry
You’re not a door mat. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and consideration so if someone you’ve placed your trust in betrays you, it’s normal to feel angry. You can even enjoy your anger- who doesn’t enjoy a good rant or door slamming occasionally?
Remember, don’t allow your anger to control you and don’t use it as an excuse to hurt others (including the person you’re angry with). Talk to a friend or counsellor about what happened and how you feel. Write it down in a journal or a letter. Be honest about what you’re feeling and why. Accept that you have a valid reason to be angry and then aim to move past your anger.
It is important to balance your angry feelings with other positive feelings too. If you don’t, the anger and hurt is likely to take over and may even begin to affect your health.
Look for the positives
It’s so easy to slip into a pessimistic mind frame when you’ve been betrayed. Suddenly you look at everyone; friends, family, colleagues, with suspicion. With trust comes vulnerability and there’s nothing like being betrayed to remind you exactly how vulnerable you are.
When you’re hurt and angry it is tempting to look at the world and see only the bad but if you try, you’ll find things to be grateful for too.
If you choose to focus on the good things in your life, you’ll be in a better position to keep things in perspective and your anger and hurt won’t get the better of you.
Redirect your anger in a positive direction
We’ve all heard the revenge stories; stuffing your ex’s curtain rods with prawns, taking all your ex employer’s secrets to the competition, damaging property, spreading rumours- the list is endless. The desire to lash out at the person who hurt you is a perfectly normal one but it does absolutely nothing to benefit you and you’re likely to regret your behaviour in the long run. You have absolutely no control over someone else, so why waste your energy trying to change them?
Instead of focusing on the person who hurt you, try directing all of your energy towards making changes for the better in your own life.
- Feel like punching something? Sign up for a martial arts class! Not only will you have fun punching and kicking, you’ll get fit and you’ll feel happier because your pituitary gland will release endorphins into your blood.
- Sign up for a short course. Learn something new, improve your mind or even improve your career prospects.
- Do some volunteer work. Doing something to make someone else’s life better makes you feel good, improves your self esteem and makes the world a better place.
- Try mediation or yoga. Learn to be peaceful within yourself.
- Take a holiday and visit somewhere you’ve never been before.
- Plant a garden.
These are only a few suggestions. Why not sit down and make a list of all the things you’d like to do or change in your life? If you recognise yourself in this newsletter and you’d like to speak to a counsellor, you’re welcome to give us a call on (07) 3862 6622 and make an appointment.
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Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.”
- Cherie Carter-Scott