eNEWSLETTER
September 2007
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Welcome to the September edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter. Do you ever find yourself envying those people who seem to have it all? You know the type; perfect grooming, perfect family, fantastic job, perfectly organised diary, colour co-ordinated wardrobe, dust free home, freshly vacuumed car and healthy bank account. Well envy no longer. Perfection comes at a price and if the amount of people we see here with unrelenting standards is anything to go by, that price is joy, well being, and satisfaction.
Striving for perfection
Do you work really hard? Do you feel tired and stressed but haven’t got time to stop? Do you have trouble forgiving yourself and others for making mistakes? Do you think anyone who doesn’t give 110% all of the time is lazy? Is nothing ever good enough? Do you use the word “should” a lot? Are the people you love constantly worrying about measuring up to your standards?
If you’ve just answered yes to some or all of these questions, your standards may be unreasonably high.
What are your schemas?
Think back to your childhood. Did you grow up believing that if you failed or disappointed your parents, they wouldn’t love you anymore? Were you punished severely? Were you constantly reminded of how harsh the world is? Were you constantly competing with your peers, always reminding yourself that second place doesn’t matter; there are only winners and losers?
We all grow up with certain beliefs. Counsellors call them schemas. If your schemas include unrelenting standards then you’re probably stressed out, always striving for something you can’t quite achieve and expecting the same from the people around you. Your parents probably thought they were doing you a favour and that’s partly true. It is important to feel capable. Learning that hard work pays off is a great lesson to learn. Then again, it is important to keep things balanced. Perfectionism can be a terrible waste of time; does that A+ assignment really need to be polished 3 more times? Perfectionism can even prevent you from succeeding; you can get so hung up on perfecting something that you never actually finish anything or you can become so worried about making a mistake or choosing the wrong path that you make no progress at all.
It’s okay!
It’s okay to make a mistake once in a while. The world will keep on turning if you do. Making mistakes also gives you the opportunity to learn, grow and discover new things. Never making mistakes is not the definition of success!
It’s also okay to disappoint other people occasionally. In fact if you don’t, you’re not being true to yourself.
It’s okay to ask for help from other people- you don’t have to do everything alone. The truth is that asking for help from other people not only takes the pressure off you but it lets them know that you trust them and appreciate them.
It’s okay to rest. You’re not being lazy if you sit down and do nothing for a while- those dirty dishes in the sink will wait for you.
Ask for help today
If you recognise yourself in this newsletter and you’d like to speak to a counsellor, you’re welcome to give us a call on (07) 3862 6622 and make an appointment. Come and fill out a schema questionnaire and find out what your schemas are. Let us help you achieve a more balanced outlook on life, happier relationships and a more successful you.
Some Interesting Links For You
Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.”
- Dr David M. Burns