eNEWSLETTER
January 2008
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Welcome to the first edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter for 2008. We hope you had a peaceful and happy holiday. Have you ever noticed that when you’ve got a bit of spare time like you do over the Christmas break, all of the things that you ordinarily find vaguely irritating become intolerable when you’ve got time to pay attention to them? Perhaps this tendency to become dissatisfied over Christmas is the reason behind the New Year’s Resolution. Apparently though, if all those New Year Resolutions that are discarded in February are anything to go by, dissatisfaction isn’t enough to inspire lasting change. So this month we thought we’d take a look at different kinds of motivators and discover which ones are the most likely to help us stay resolute.
What motivates us to change?
People make decisions to change for all sorts of reasons. Some of the most common are:
- Dissatisfaction. Many people decide to change because they are unhappy with their current situation. Perhaps they aren’t making enough money, or perhaps they feel they are stuck in a rut and want to try something different.
- Love/admiration- wanting to impress/emulate. The problem with making changes to your life because of someone else is that you aren’t making the change because of YOU. This is a common one in new relationships. One person will give up smoking/drinking/partying/socialising with friends because the other partner disapproves. This relationship is almost definitely doomed before it really begins as eventually the partner who has given something up will come to resent the other partner.
- Anger. They say revenge is a dish best served cold but many people decide to make changes to their life when they become angry. The problem with this is they are making the change out of a reaction towards someone or something else instead of out of a pure desire for change.
- Health. Unfortunately many of us keep plodding along, doing the same things day in and day out until something shocks us enough to make a change. When our health begins to suffer in a major way, we are often forced to sit up and take notice. Many others decide to make a change for fear of their health suffering if they don’t.
- Reward. This is the classic carrot on a stick theory. Many of us will work hard to achieve a goal if the carrot we’ll receive for achieving the goal is desirable enough.
What weakens our resolve?
As anyone who has made a New Year’s resolution and failed to see it through understands, it isn’t always easy to commit to change. Some of the common causes of weakening are:
- Fear. The fear of failure and fear of success is often enough to prevent a person from following through with change. A lack of self-esteem is usually a contributing factor here. Some people believe “better the devil you know” and fear what change will bring.
- A higher priority. People with a higher priority will find themselves saying something along the lines of, “I know I should do it, but I .....).
- Not caring enough- usually making the change for someone else. This is a bit like those with a higher priority but it basically boils down to the fact that they don’t want to change.
- Laziness. Some people develop an extraordinary ability to tolerate just about anything rather than have to make an effort to change.
- Perfectionism. Behind perfectionism is a fear of failure. Sometimes this fear is so acute that the perfectionist is unwilling to take a step towards change.
What inspires lasting change?
The most important factor behind making a lasting change is that the person to make the change desires the change. So many of us change to please other people in our life, or because we think we should. Unless you’re dancing to the beat of your own drum (or perhaps heart might be more appropriate in this instance) you are bound to stumble sooner or later.
If you’d like to make a change this year, remember that motivation is only the first step. There are many other factors you need to consider if you want to reach your goals and make lasting change. If you find that you’re sabotaging yourself or you’re not even sure where to start, why not phone us on (07) 3862 6622 and make an appointment to see one of our qualified counsellors? It might be the extra help you need to make a lasting change for 2008.
Some Interesting Links For You
Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.”
- Jim Ryun