eNEWSLETTER
February 2008
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
Emotional Inhibition
Welcome to the February edition of Clayfield Counselling Services e-newsletter. How did your Valentine’s Day go? Were you showered with sweet nothings? Some people love the whole idea of Valentine’s Day. It gives them a chance to tell their loved ones how they feel. Other people absolutely dread it. Sharing feelings can feel wrong, weak or scary to some people and they do their best to go through life hiding and controlling how they feel. If you’re one of these people or you love someone who is like this, then read on; this newsletter might be for you!
How Emotional Inhibition Begins
Emotional Inhibition is a learned behaviour. Children who grow up with parents or carers that don’t show emotion, often never learn to show emotion themselves. This is quite common in men who were told “boys don’t cry” or had fathers who thought that being emotional with their sons would make them grow into weak or less “manly” men.
Children who grow up with emotionally or physically abusive parents are also in danger of becoming emotionally inhibited because they learn to hide their emotions to protect themselves.
Express yourself
Although it may feel safer, hiding your emotions prevents you from forming real relationships with other people because they either sense you are hiding something and don’t trust you or they feel they are constantly giving to you emotionally and not getting anything back.
If you’re not used to expressing your emotions, you may feel silly or vulnerable when you start to be more open. At first, it may be daunting just trying to figure out where to begin. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Start with something simple first. Choose someone who loves you and give them a hug or if you’re feeling brave, tell them how much you appreciate them or how important they are to you.
- Next time you go out with friends, don’t sit in the corner and hide. Get up and dance if you feel like it! (P.S. It doesn’t count if you’re drunk when you do it. Alcohol may give you an excuse to be less emotionally inhibited but if you have to drink to express your emotions then you’re still not being your true self.)
- Next time you’re in an argument don’t clam up and shut down (and don’t walk out the door either unless the person you’re arguing with is abusive!). Take a deep breath, sit down and talk. Take your time and ask for time out if you feel you need it but make sure you come back to the discussion when you’re ready.
Sharing your emotions with a counsellor is a great way to begin to get a feel for expressing yourself without any risks. When you trust a counsellor you know you’re in a safe environment and you won’t be judged or rejected. If you feel you’d benefit from an appointment with one of our counsellors, why not give us a call on (07) 3862 6622? Who knows? Next Valentine’s Day, those sweet nothings might be a bit more plentiful.
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Office hours are from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. After hours and Saturday appointments are available on request.
Until next time then...
“The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”
- Mark Twain