eNEWSLETTER
November 2009
Our Mission Statement:
"Providing a range of innovative professional services, empowering our clients to positively address issues affecting their lives."
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Mismatched Libidos
In a perfect world, couples would have perfectly matched libidos, but as we all know, sometimes, that it simply not possible. You meet someone and during the initial stage, the sex is great, then a few years later you are still having sex, but less often, then one day you stop and think to yourself “When was the last time I had sex”.
Since everyone one is different, this means that we each have differing wants and needs within our sexual relationships. Whether it is too much, not enough or none at all: it is simply a case that some people who meet and fall in love have mismatched libidos.
What really matters when it comes to dealing with the sexual problems you and your partner are struggling is to:
- Identify what is happening now
- Understand the current issues
- Explore strategies that might help
- Be honest about what you are prepared to do to address the distress you are feeling about your relationship.
- One of the common complaints about differing libidos is that often one person has a higher libido than the other, some possible reasons can include:
- Medications: many prescription and over the counter drugs can most often affect a person libido, including antidepressant, medication for hypertension, sedatives, and even birth control pills.
- Stress: When stressful events take over, they suck the sexual energy right out of you.
- Lifestyle changes can affect a person’s sex drive, situations that may affect your libido are; recently getting married, changing jobs or moving.
These all can affect your physical and emotional wellbeing. - Increased stress from home and work commitments
- Illness: when you have a cold, and your nose is running, it is not unusual for all thoughts of sex to go out the window, but sometimes serious illnesses can affect your enjoyment of life; such as diabetes, cancer heart and lung disorders.
- Aging: hormonal imbalances in perimenopausal and menopausal women can lead to a diminished sex drive.
- Relationship blues: If there’s tension or unhappiness in your relationship, it will eventually show up in your sex life
- Body image ; If you feel uncomfortable with your physical self, you may hide your body from your partner, which can lead to a slowdown in sexual activity
- Drugs and Alcohol can have an adverse reaction on your libido in the long term.
References
Pertot, S (2007) When your sex drives don’t match, Marlowe and Company, New York
Quote of the Month
Share our similarities, celebrate our differences.
Scott Peck